When most people think of depression, they think of sadness. But many people struggling with depression will tell you that’s not the full picture. More often, it feels like:
- Numbness
- Disconnection
- Exhaustion
- A lack of motivation that doesn’t make sense
And underneath it all, there’s often guilt.
Depression Is More Than an Emotion
We all experience sadness from time to time, and for very legitimate reasons I might add. This is normal. Depression is not just about how you feel. It’s about how your entire system is functioning. Many people with depression experience:
- Low energy
- Brain fog
- Difficulty concentrating
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Irritability instead of sadness
This is why telling someone to “just try harder” doesn’t work.
What’s Happening Beneath the Surface
From a nervous system perspective, depression often reflects a state of shutdown. When stress, pressure, or emotional strain becomes too much for too long, the body can shift into a low-energy protective state.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s your system saying: “I can’t keep going like this.”
The Hidden Layer: Self-Criticism
Many people with depression carry an additional burden:
-
- “I should be able to do this.”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “Why can’t I just get it together?”
This internal pressure doesn’t motivate change.
It deepens the shutdown.
Why Pushing Harder Backfires
One of the most frustrating parts of depression is that the instinct is often to push through it. In fact, people will tell us to “just push through it”. But pushing harder:
- Increases overwhelm
- Increases shame
- Reinforces burnout
- Deepens the shutdown response
Which is why so many people feel stuck.
A More Effective Approach
Healing from depression starts with understanding what your system needs—not forcing it to perform. In many cases, I have found that the root of depression has been avoiding making choices or decisions that need to be addressed. Of course, thi is not always the case, but it often has been.
When you begin working with your system instead of against it, change becomes possible. In fact, it can feel natural.
When Everything Feels Like Too Much
With depression, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. Things like:
- Getting out of bed
- Responding to a message
- Making simple decisions
can feel disproportionately difficult.
Not because they are difficult — but because your system doesn’t have the energy to engage. It just takes too much effort.
You don’t have to live this way
If you are struggling, there is no reason to continue. Let’s get together and begin your path toward depression therapy.
_____________________
Janet Schryer Donahue, LPC, NCC, CCTP, ADHD-CCSP is a licensed professional counselor and founder of TADAS Counseling in Michigan, specializing in Trauma, Anxiety, and ADHD using both traditional therapy and advanced brain- and body-based approaches.
📅 Last updated: